At my son Billy’s memorial service, one profound thing that I remember as we were sharing a meal together after the service was when my former sister-in-law Rachel came up to me and shared a scripture verse.￼
I believe this has happened, is happening and will happen.
My desire is to bear much fruit.
Recently I had an experience where it felt like I fell into the earth died and remained alone for a season but I had to die to myself.
I had to go through some things all by myself and nobody could do it for me. As much as my husband wanted to help me, to fix The situation,￼he couldn’t. As much as I wanted him to be able to fix the situation, he couldn’t.
￼I had to go through it alone.￼ However I did not remain alone.￼
The thing was, I knew that I wasn’t alone. Jesus says that he will never leave me or turn his back on me and I had such an assurance that he certainly was with me through the whole entire process.￼
I had peace, I had joy, and I had an overall really good experience despite my surroundings.
I mentioned that I had to spend some time in the hospital.
I believe what happened was that I finally broke. Just like that seed I need to crack under the ground, alone so that I could break forth, grow, and bear much fruit.￼
I’ll share more later but this has been on my heart for a while and I wanted to write about it tonight.