I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! Two Grandsons ages 13 and 12 and a precious 8 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 13 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗
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When Billy was a baby he had a little soft blue baby boy doll I named boy.
When you think of baby dolls typically you think of pink girl dolls. When you have a boy you get a boy doll baby.
Boy went with us everywhere and he rattled when you shook him.
Billy had Boy in his car seat and in his crib. Everywhere that Billy went, Boy went too.
Boy was comforting to Billy. Just like the Holy Spirit is comforting to me. Even when I don’t sense His presence I know that He’s there.
He may not rattle but when the wind whistles I know He’s near. When a bird chirps, when my hair blows or I get goose bumps. I’m reminded of His nearness.
The Holy Spirit is always with me but I’m the one who needs to constantly be reminded. He’s promised to never leave me or forsake me which means he’ll never turn his back on me but it’s my human tendency to forget.
Thank goodness He’s patient with me and gently reminds me of His nearness. Much like I reminded Baby Billy of Boy’s nearness when I would gently stroke his little cheek with Boy’s soft face.
5 Non Blondes and a Senseless Murder 