Published by cmadams
I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! Two Grandsons ages 11and 12 and a precious 6 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 12 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗
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Jerry Sittser wrote the book ” Grace Disguised ” after a horrific car accident claimed the lives of his Mother, his Wife and his daughter. He and his three other children survived the crash.
If you are going through loss and grief, I highly recommend this book. His insights are very relatable and simple enough for a broken heart to grasp.
Here is an excerpt I wanted to share.
“I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it.” 
I will never “get over” the loss of my Son. How insensitive for any one to ever think that or expect that. It’s not going to happen.
A Grace Disguised
5 Non Blondes and a Senseless Murder 