I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! 2 Grandsons ages 7and 8 and a precious 3 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 8 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗
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8 Months since my 1st born Son was randomly, senselessly murdered.
The 27th is now a date that I struggle to look forward to.
I try not to plan anything too important to do on this date every month.
I try to avoid making appointments. I don’t hide out at my house or anything like that.I’m still a Wife, a Mother, a Nana, a Sister, a Daughter and a Friend.
I still go to the grocery store and actually today was the day Logan got to pick out his LEGO duplo set because he finally got his 10 stickers.
Logan played with this for hours. He has such an awesome imagination!
Logan would get a smiley face sticker for every time he listened and obeyed. If he wasn’t quick to listen, and by that I mean if I had to ask repeatedly or his response was “No”, then a sticker got taken away, but he had a chance to quickly earn it back.
Now we jokingly say to each other “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”
Well, I can’t tell you if I’ll always feel this way about the 27th or if it will be only until I hit the 1st year mark or maybe the 2nd year…
All I know is that every day that goes by is one day closer to when I will get to see Billy again.
5 Non Blondes and a Senseless Murder 