How many of us can honestly say we like when things change?
( i love you mother. I left my computer for 1 minute to get my glasses and when I came back my darling Daughter had written that caring message so I’ll leave it in my post!)
Back to change…
I can honestly say that I’ve had enough change in the last in the last 10 months that most people might experience in a lifetime.
My counselor said that he didn’t know anyone who had the amount of situations come against them in such a short time period.
I started seeing a counselor after Billy’s murder. I knew I would need to talk to someone who was trained to help me sift though the rubble of my shattered heart.
Billy was murdered 8 months and 13 days ago, but the season of change started a good 2 months before he was killed.
On December 28th, I had surgery. I had multiple hernia’s and muscle repair. This required 6 weeks of healing. Thankfully, I was in very good health and my healing was going very well and pretty quickly. That was until week 4 of healing. The 4th week out of my 6th week of healing and prescribed rest, Billy was killed. At 4 and a half weeks, we were planning and preparing for his funeral and at 5 weeks, I was burying my 1st born Son.
After he died, the changes our family experienced in a short time could have been overwhelming. At times it was….Everything was magnified and amplified and just felt like too much!
I cannot even begin to post everything that happened, but it is enough for a lifetime and it could be made into a Lifetime movie!
I can share part of it now and maybe later I’ll be able to tell more.
Back in November of last year, my Father found out that he had prostate cancer and it was a fast-moving cancer.
Lots of things happened between November and April to him alone that required us to go to appointment after appointment, located over an hour one way. Not to mention the excruciating wait in the waiting room before his name was called to go back to see the Doctor, and then the wait in the Doctors office. That wait was usually the longest…
Just a side note: Most of our lives are spent waiting. it is probably a good idea to wait with patience and a positive attitude or you could drive yourself a little crazy and probably raise your blood pressure.
My Dad ended up having open surgery to remove the cancer at age 74. Due to the fact that he was healthy and was only using prescription eye drops and no other medications, that was the best option.
He was not a candidate for the other non-open surgery or we would have gone that route.
What was supposed to be a 2-3 night stay after surgery ended up being a 15 day stay with many unrelated complications. I drove 40 minutes to the hospital to visit him as much as I could.
This was 2 and a half months after Billy’s death.
When my Dad got out of the hospital, he came to stay with us so it would be easier to care for him rather than drive 25 minutes to get to his house.
My Dad needed to be close to me and he needed lots of tender loving care.
He stayed for at my home for 2 weeks and then he was well enough to go back home where he lives alone.
Thankfully, he is a quick healer too. I was so honored to be able to take care of my father. Even though he was healing and sore and tired,we still had fun and we laughed and we joked and when the serious moments were over, we took deep sighs of relief.
Meanwhile, while I was very busy running my father to appointments and taking care of him after surgery and still trying to take care of my family,we were still waiting for the alleged murderer to be caught.
That was always in the back of my mind. Was today the day? Would he be captured today?
The detectives did a wonderful job and yes, he was captured almost 3 months after Billy’s Murder.
3 and a half months after Billy died, I found a lump and needed a mammogram and an ultra sound. That was in May.
I knew it was nothing but grief,as it was right over my heart. To put everyone’s mind at ease,I got the tests done.
In between my tests, which were 2 weeks apart,I put Frankincense and a carrier oil in a roll-on bottle and rolled it on the lump a few times a day.
When I went back to see what had to be done to the lump, and had it measured, it had actually shrunk in size.
I have always said if Frankincense was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!
The lump was just a cyst and they were able to aspirate it. That was a relief, but still, something that we needed to go through.
These are just a few things that have happened since my Son died. Of course I have been grieving as well as dealing with life’s situations.
As I said earlier, I could add much more, but now is not the time to do that. Perhaps someday…
I think that’s enough change to talk about for one post!
I believe it’s human nature to resist change. We are usually creatures of habit. We will stay in situations, to our detriment because it’s our “normal.”
We get comfortable because that’s the way it’s always been, or that’s how we were raised, or simply because that’s what we believe. It’s our mindset.
May I make a suggestion?
We can set our minds like we set a an alarm on a clock or on our phone.
In the midst of our busy lives, find something positive to listen to and fill our minds with.
I can guarantee that if we are faithful to replace the thoughts that tell us “this is just how I am”,or “It will always be this way” with THE truth, change will take place and it will be effortless.
One thing that I started doing 7 years ago was listening to teaching that made the Word of God come alive in my heart.
It was no longer just Bible stories that happened thousands of years ago to people I didn’t know, or black words on a white page with some red words mixed in that were supposed to be more special.
Those precious words truly became alive in my heart.
If I had not had laid that foundation, I cannot honestly tell you if you would be reading my posts right now,eight months and 13 days after my Sons murder. The absolute worst nightmare that you never wake up from.
If you would like to learn more about how to change effortlessly and stop going around the same mountain over and over and over again…
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, I would highly recommend to start listening to this teaching entitled “Effortless Change.” (The link is below)
I cannot tell you that it will happen overnight, but if you are faithful and determined, I promise you that it will happen.
One small change at a time.
I have added a link below that you can click on. You have the opportunity to read, to watch, or to listen to it, the choice is yours.
Do yourself a favor and start today.