The Beginning..

For 31 days I will post in honor of bereaved parents awareness month.

Last July I didn’t know it existed.

I will also share something on each day that I’ve learned or am learning.

If it’s conflicts with your beliefs or unbeliefs that’s okay.

This is my journey.

Someday I will tell my whole story but for now, one piece at a time.

1. God didn’t kill my son.

A person did.

I do not blame God and I never will.






This is the post that started my journey to share our story.

I happened to see another grieving mother post on July 1st that the month of July was bereaved parents awareness month.

As a bereaved mother, I felt compelled to post everyday in July.

I posted every night on instagram and shared it to my personal facebook page.

I saw another grieving mother post about some kindness cards that she designed and would hand out in memory of her son following a kind act.

I absolutely loved that idea because Billy’s birthday was coming up on September 1st.

I thought it would be wonderful to have my own Acts of Kindness cards made for Billy in time for his Birthday.

I didn’t want to just hand out Acts of Kindness cards after buying someone a cup of coffee or loading their groceries in their car.

I did not want to make anyone feel obligated to stand there and listen to our story,or hand them a card and not say anything and have them wonder what happened to Billy?

I realized that I needed an outlet beyond Instagram where I could share our story.

Here is the part where you will think: “Wow,this lady is crazy!” or “Wow,this lady has some supernatural connections!”

One night in early August, I was sleeping soundly and I heard someone say “mom.”

I continued sleeping and a short time later I heard “Mom.” A little bit louder.

I remember stirring and being in the state between sleeping and trying to wake up.

Finally I heard “MOM!”

I sat up.

No one was there.

It sounded like Billy, but maybe it was Robbie. They sounded alike at times especially as Robbie’s voice continues to change.

When I woke up a few hours later to start my day, I asked both Robbie and Virginia if either of them had been in my room last night.

They both said no, they had not been in my room.

I knew in my heart that I had heard Billy.

It reminded me of the time that God called Samuel ( 1st Samuel 3)

I read 1 Samuel and was reminded of how Samuel’s Mother Hannah prayed for a son and gave him to the Lord.

I know that the Lord has my son Billy and like Samuel, I will speak or Blog what the Lord puts on my heart to say.

We left for vacation in mid-August and that gave me time to think it through.

How did I want to tell our story? How would it work? Where do I start? I am not that computer savvy!

After our relaxing week at the beach, I set up my website on my cell phone on the long drive home.

After I had my website as good as it was going to get from my cell phone, I sat down with the printing company and told them what I wanted to do.

I had my Acts of Kindness cards printed and I picked them up on August 31st.

I’ve had opportunities to do acts of kindness many times since September. Sometimes I hand out the cards and sometimes it doesn’t feel quite right to hand out the card but I still give away kindness.

I have decided to share my Instagram posts that I shared during Bereaved Parents Awareness Month. 31 posts. Some are short, some are longer.

That is how my healing journey began. Looking back over those posts, I’ve realized how far I have already come.

I believe I heard Billy call me because I needed to know that I should continue to tell our story beyond the 31 days in July.

I also believe that I heard his voice because the Lord knew that I wouldn’t shrug it off as just a dream or wishful thinking but the truth of what He has called me to do.

I know that there are many bereaved parents in the world. Maybe you are one…

Maybe your child wasn’t murdered like my son, but that does not mean the death of your child hurts any less.

I’ll continue to share our lives, our memories, our joys and our sorrows.

I hope to be a beacon of light in this dark and hurting world.

Thank you for joining me on my journey through.

May you receive God’s many blessings.

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