Published by cmadams
I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! 2 Grandsons ages 7and 8 and a precious 3 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 8 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗
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I will add since my original post on July 19 that my children are still grieving in their own ways.
Their friends have a hard time trying to understand the extent of our loss which is to be expected when your 15 and 16 years old.
None of their friends had their brother murdered.
How do you process that?
Siblings are the ones who are forgotten when it comes to grief.
Day 19 of bereaved parents awareness month
This picture makes me happy and sad.
Happy because they were happy to be together.
Sad because of the obvious age difference, they won’t get to have the adult sibling relationship with Billy. 
Virginia was 11 and Robbie was 12 and Billy was 22 in this picture. It was taken 4 years ago.
My youngest brother Brian and I are 10 and 1/2 years apart and we are closer now as adults then we ever were as kids.
Robbie and Billy are 10 years apart.
Virginia and Billy are 11 years apart.
Thank God this world is not our home and we will have all eternity to spend together.
#myheartlovesallmychildrenonearthandinheaven
#somedayagewontmatter
#hedefinitlyleftanafterglowofsmiles
#theylovetheirbigbrother
#itsnotsomethingyougetove
#itssomethingyougetthrough
#griefislovewithnoplacetogo
#💗
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