I would like to add the obvious to this post from July 25. I love Billy, I’ll never stop loving him and I miss him and I’ll never stop missing him. Some days are harder than others. Much harder but I keep going and I get through.
Day 25 of bereaved parents awareness month
I know there are many people in this world who would look at these and the first thought that would go through their minds is some form of judgment.
If there was anything that I knew about my son, it was that he was going through different stages and taking different steps all throughout his life, especially his early 20’s.
I remembered what it was like to be 20,21,22,23 and beyond.
All the decisions and choices that I made that affected other people.
I can look back at those times and know that not one time did God ever leave me or turn his back on me,no matter what I was doing.
I always gave my son grace.
Grace to grow, grace to be who he was, and grace to go through those changes.
He was changing.
The magic number I had in my head was 27 because that’s how old I was when I finally had the realization that life is a gift.
That no matter what I had gone through, or what I’d done, I had always been given grace and love and mercy by my parents and my Heavenly Father,even though I didn’t deserve it.
It’s so easy to judge.
To look at someone’s lifestyle, the clothes they wear, the piercings, the tattoos.
My son was creative. He used to draw the most beautiful pictures when he was younger and then his body became his canvas.
I know that left-handed people tend to be more creative and talented and gifted in artistic ways.
I’m his Mother and no matter what, I’m proud of who he was and who he was becoming.