Summers Past

Looking back over the years, I remember thinking life would go on and on and my children would be little forever.

My favorite vacations were when we would go to a campground 10 miles outside of the beach.

That was what we could afford to do when I was growing up and then I just kept taking my kids there as they were growing up.

They all had the campground experience and long days on the beach.

My parents and my Aunt who were also staying at the campground,would rendezvous with us on the beach and it was just a fun time with family.

We would get donuts from Browns and ice cream from the guys selling it from their freezers on bikes.

We packed lunch and plenty of snacks but Mom’s snacks were always better.

My Mom holding baby Virginia at the beach.

After my Mom died,the beach and the campground weren’t as fun.

She was the matriarch of our family and held us all together. I miss the beach and those times together.

They were special.

She would walk along the shore looking for shells and catching sand crabs with my children and we would blow bubbles while we played in the sand.

Daniel, Billy and Jami at the beach 13 years ago.

Grief reaches so many areas of life. It changes us in big ways and ways that are subtle that only the person who is grieving knows that they are a different version of themselves.

I know that life moves on and people change and people die and life isn’t what it used to be.

Reminiscing is sad today. The weather is getting warmer, Matt took the top off of the Jeep which is usually my favorite time of the year and yet it is tinged with sadness knowing that those days are days gone by.

Yes, we are making new memories but my Mother and my son are tied forever to the best days of summers past.

My Mom and 3 year old Billy at the beach.

It’s so hard to know that they were the good ole days and that they’re not coming back around in this lifetime.

I know it’s my turn to make those kind of memories for Logan and as much as I want them to be the same, they will be different.

Different places and different faces. They will still be special and fun but two of the most important people will be missing.

Tears are flowing freely tonight. My heart is hurting but I knew I had to write a little so the hurt could seep out of my eyes.

This is what grief is and what grief does. It cries, it smiles through tears and remembers through sadness.

Keep making special memories and tuck them safely in the love of your heart.

  1. It would be hard to see the beach as it was before. Its great your mother was the matriarch, I’ve lost my children in that way, they go on their own ways, its a long story. I see them all but not like I would want. Oldest daughter lives with me now but it’s not real good. So when I die they probably won’t even keep in touch with each other. So again thanks for sharing your story and life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll pray for you Joanne. I’ll pray that you and your children can experience reconciliation. Jesus loves to restore and redeem. If I can believe for it, you can too.


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