Bereaved Parents Awareness Month Day 7.
Saying Goodbye.
I love our annual Fourth of July festivities with our family.
It’s filled with spending time with family, good conversation, swimming, splashing, relaxing, fair food, fireworks and fun!
It’s always so good to see family that you don’t get to see everyday because of the distance between us.
Saying goodbye is always the hard part. It’s harder now after Billy’s murder than before.
The way you see life is forever altered.
It’s constantly pushing away the “what if’s,” as well as trying to be present in the moment as much as you possibly can because you want to experience all the “feels.”
Trying to believe for the best but knowing tragedy that you never wanted to know, simply because we live in a fallen world.
I always thought that someday Billy would join us with Logan and maybe a little family of his own.
Logan always gets to come with us, but not with Daddy.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to my new ” normal ”
It’s certainly not “normal ” at all.
Looking up at the fireworks and wondering what Billy was doing in heaven at that moment and understanding that whatever it is, is more magnificent than the fireworks display. That was comforting.
Watching the faces of my loved ones as they watched the fireworks made me smile and gave me a deep joy and peace. These moments are what make up life.
Family and Fireworks 🎇 
5 Non Blondes and a Senseless Murder 