The Verdict Is In

If you have been following me for any length of time, you probably have noticed that I do not talk much about who killed my son.

Even some of my personal friends on Facebook had no idea that anyone had ever been arrested until I posted that our day in court was coming up.

My whole purpose in starting this blog was to tell our story and to hopefully be an encouragement to someone else who may be going through the loss of a child or to give others who haven’t ever been in my shoes, the opportunity to walk beside me.

I have mentioned along the way that I believe the Lord has purposed in my heart to tell our story. For such a time is this.

I do know and believe that God did not murder my child or have him murdered ” to teach me something ” or to “punish” me or my child. Or any of the other ridiculous assumptions people come up with to blame God.

I do not in any way blame God for this senseless act of violence against my son and our family.

I had the opportunity yesterday to sit and listen to the background of the man who chose to commit this senseless act of violence against Billy.

To be honest with you, my heart did go out to the defendant who lost his father when he was two days old and his mother who had been an addict,at 14 years old, and all of the other sad experiences and unfortunate life events that he had gone through.

The world we live in is definitely not what it was created to be.

Sadly many, many, people have terrible childhood experiences. I am certainly not discrediting that.

Yet not everybody chooses to take their anger, hurt, pain, sadness, and any other emotion or frustration out on another human being.

My Billy had 7 people from his big blended family and 2 friends give their victim impact statements in court.

15 other friends and family members wrote their victim impact statements and had them sent to the judge before the sentencing.

The defendant had 39 people write to the judge about the type of person that they know him to be.

5 or 6 people were called by the defense to share their interactions with the defendant and speak of the type of person that they knew him to be.

The defendant himself expressed remorse or what possibly could be guilt or maybe even fear.

He apologized numerous times to us, the family of the deceased, and said that he committed my sons murder in a moment of confusion and black out drunkenness.

Only God truly knows his heart.

Our Assistant District Attorney kept us up to date throughout this exhausting process and he did a good job presenting the evidence.

I believe that since the events of that fateful night were all caught on tape, it made his job a bit easier.

Our Judge was fair.

She listened, she weighed the evidence, she was prepared and had read the victim impact statements that our family had sent to our A.D.A.

I couldn’t have asked for a better judge to hear our case, carefully look at all the evidence and mitigating factors that go into a determining a sentence based on the criminal laws of our legal system.

She does this all the time and has seen and heard it all I’m sure!

After an exhausting day and a very long year and a half without Billy here on this earth anymore, his murderer was sentenced.

He will serve no less than 20 years and no more than 40 years in prison.He will start this sentence after he finishes a prior sentence that he was on parole for when he chose to murder Billy.

He will not be eligible for parole until at least the early 2040’s and at that time, we will be notified and can go to the hearing and request that he stay in prison.

There is no perfect sentence.

There is nothing anyone can do or say that will ever alleviate the huge hole that has been left in our hearts and lives without having Billy here anymore on this earth.

There is no “closure” or “putting it to bed” or “moving on” or whatever label people may want to slap on it.

I can only do what I’ve been doing and that is write what the Lord puts on my heart, take care of my family and let them take care of me.

I can love my grandson Logan and help him to be the person that he was created to be. I can teach him, guide him, be there for him no matter what, and let him know that even though Daddy is with Jesus, he can peek through the clouds and see us so, let’s make daddy proud.

Violence and kindness have the same amount of letters.

Choose kindness. It may cost you something: time, talent, money, convenience or even comfort, but the rewards are far reaching.

Reject violence. It has horrific repercussions that take you farther than you want to go,cost you more than you want to pay, and keep you longer than you want to stay. It will affect everything and everyone you hold dear and the consequences are far reaching.

I’ll always be proud of my Billy. Proud of who he was and who he was becoming.

Once again I have to believe God’s Word and His faithful promises.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”Romans 8:18

As always, looking towards the eternal where my hope is found,

Billy’s Mother~Corinne