What do you think of when you approach the month of January?

New Year, new me? A fresh start? New beginnings?

Quite honestly, January has never been a month I looked forward too. Even as a child I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait for this month to be over!

Was that an inkling that the most tragic and devastating life event would one day happen in January? I don’t know.

One memory I have of Januarys as a little girl is of my friend from school. Her birthday was in January and it was inevitable that her birthday party would get cancelled almost every year due to bad weather.

I don’t think that’s what made me dislike the month but it sure didn’t help!

It’s almost been 5 years since my son Billy was senselessly murdered. 5 years. I remember that cold January night like it was yesterday.

Billy and I at my Moms funeral 3 years before he was murdered.

Every year when January hits I can feel that day coming.

If you’ve buried a child you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, be grateful that you don’t.

I feel the date of his murder creeping up on me. I have to brace myself for the hit. It’s on its way and will be here in just a few weeks.

I don’t spend my days moping or crying. I go on with life. The grief is there yet somehow it’s softer. I’m different and I’ve changed yet I’m still me.

I also have good things to look forward to in January as well. January is a busy month for birthdays in our family. We’re up to 5 birthdays!

Billy’s son Logan will be turning 10 in January. God knew I needed something happy to celebrate.

Logan getting ready for picture day at school.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: