Hurting people, hurt people

That’s the long and the short of it really.

If we’ve been hurt by someone than it’s much easier and almost natural to take that hurt out on someone else.

My purpose in candidly sharing my life after the murder of my son is to tell his story.

To tell my story.

How in the world is a Mother supposed to get through the most horrific life changing experience I’ve ever had to walk through?

That’s what I’m trying to do daily and I’m choosing to transparently share that with you.

One thing I’ve neglected to mention is that the alleged killer was captured 3 months after my son’s death.

I really don’t desire to focus on him.

I’m only talking about it now because I believe that because he was mourning the loss of his family member, he stole the life of mine.

Hurting people, hurt people.

Did that act of stabbing my son to death bring his family member back? Did it somehow even the score for this man?

Billy didn’t know him.

Never saw him, never interacted with him, nothing. They were complete strangers to one another.

Until that night I’ll never forget.

This wasn’t about a drug deal gone bad or any other scenario you can think of other than someone was hurt, mad, angry, upset and grieving and he allowed those feelings to control him to the point of making the worst decision of his life…Taking my son’s.

That’s no excuse. It’s the truth.

How many times in our lives do we do that on a smaller scale?

We may not choose to murder someone over our feelings but we can emotionally “kill” or at the least wound someone with our hurtful words or inconsiderate actions.

What has happened to the golden rule? “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” To simplify it even more, treat someone the way you want to be treated.

Why do we “do to others what’s been done to us?”

We’re selfish. That’s why.

What wrong with being selfish? Everything.

It reminds me of the chorus of a song( no surprise there) by Toby Keith “I wanna talk about me,wanna talk about I ,wanna talk about number one oh my me my what I think,what I like, what I know, what I want ,what I see, I like talking about you you you you usually, but occasionally, I want to talk about me.”

It’s only natural to look out for A #1, I get it,but it’s only when I think about other peoples needs 1st and take my mind off of myself, that I find myself smiling, and laughing,and enjoying my family and the people I’m with.

I am a nurturer by nature. I take care of people. Maybe that’s not your nature but even for me it’s ultimately about my choices. Sometimes I don’t FEEL like taking care of anyone,but I still CHOOSE to do it.

So maybe that’s part of the solution to stop the hurt. Try to help someone else and take our minds off of ourselves.

Take Tim McGraw’s advice.Live like you were dying because the reality is, eventually,we all do.