I always remember where I came from

Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come in life. We forget what it’s like to be a small child who has trouble tying our shoes or when our 10 year old selves were dealing with figuring out who our true friends were or where we fit in.

How about 13 when we were finally a teenager and the whole world was at our fingertips but it was still a little out of reach.

At 16 we could finally drive, get a job, and felt so grownup, but we weren’t.

18 was the age to be. An adult! We could vote, but not legally drink alcohol!

So many milestones that we were always reaching for. Thinking we knew it all. At least I did. I really didn’t know anything. Well, not like I thought I did.

I made choices and decisions based on my feelings, circumstances and the moment.

I didn’t want to listen to my Mother.

It wasn’t until I was 25 and pregnant with my 2nd son Jami, that I started to really listen to my Mom and value her opinion.

I had Billy when I was 18 years old, almost 19. I was actually married before I was pregnant with him though. I just wanted life to start so I got married right after high school graduation.

Perhaps if I would have been open to talk to my parents, who loved me more than anything, I would have made different choices.

Perhaps I would have chosen a variety of other things to do instead, but then I wouldn’t have had my boy. My Son. My William.

I made a lot of choices after he was born that weren’t the wisest. I loved my child more than anything but I was selfish. I still thought I knew everything but I still didn’t. I made many mistakes…

As I mentioned, it wasn’t until Billy was 6 years old and I was pregnant with Jami that I started seeking my Mother’s wisdom.

I was 25. The age my Son was when he was murdered.

I ALWAYS gave my Son grace because I remembered. I remembered every age and every stage in life. I knew that this too shall pass.

I saw those same things starting to happen with him. I knew that just as I finally started to “get” it, so would he. It took us just a little bit longer to grow up than some people and grow into the us we would be.

That opportunity was taken away from him. That grownup relationship with me, his Mother was stolen from us.

The only solace I have is that I know that he is now with my Mother and I will see them both again.

I certainly don’t want to rush my living children through the stages of life that we all get to go through and grow through.

I want each of my children to be able to make choices and understand that choices have consequences. Every choice affects someone else in one way or another.

We are all different and grow up at different paces, have different circumstances, different upbringings, different beliefs. All of that plays a major role in the choices that we make and the choices that shape us.

I remembered reading something when I was a teenager that stayed with me even though I didn’t take it to heart until I was much older. Sometimes I still struggle, a lot.

I think this piece of advice could help us with any choice we make. I’ll share it with you and you choose.

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