So I haven’t talked much about how this tragedy has affected my 14-year-old daughter Virginia.
This isn’t the 1st time that death has touched her young life.
The first time she experienced death was when my Mother died of cancer almost 4 years ago. My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when Virginia was 5 years old.
My Mom had good years where she was getting better,but then things went downhill and then the last year was awful. Virginia watched her Grandmother deteriorate every time she saw her until she passed away on a crisp October Saturday morning.
Immediately following her Grandmother’s death, 10-year-old Virginia immediately started having physical symptoms that were puzzling.
After seeing many Doctors, Natropathic Doctors, Cranial Sacral Therapists, Chiropractors, Detoxing in Medical Grade Saunas, we finally had an Endoscopy done. After all that, she was diagnosed with Anxiety. It was a challenging 5th grade year to say the least. We worked through it. My girl is very strong and very brave. After receiving some wise counsel, she pulled through that time in her life and the next year she went to middle school and it was a terrific year!
The summer after 6th grade we went to Delaware for our vacation to visit my husbands Father who wasn’t in the best health.
We didn’t realize how poor his health was until we got there. Sadly, instead of spending time helping Pappy and Nan around the house, we ended up calling Hospice and having Pappy admitted by the end of the week. We left to go home on Saturday and on Monday we got the call that Pappy had passed away.
Within days, Virginia’s symptoms were back. This time, it was in July and we knew what was happening so we started doing what worked in hopes that by the time school started in August we would have a great start to 7th Grade. Unfortunately, it was a roller coaster year. Virginia was surrounded by wonderful, caring teachers and counselors that helped her every step of the way. One teacher even met her at Dunkin Donuts in the evening to help get her caught up on her work!
We made it through 7th grade and 8th grade was a breeze! Until the night of January 27th when our world was touched by death once again. Not another Grandparent but her big brother Billy.
Billy’s death was very unexpected, a death that was truly senseless, tragic, brutal, hateful and sudden. Murder takes so much away from our whole family.
How does a 14 year old little sister deal with this? When Billy would visit she was always so excited to see him she would give him her run and jump hug. How do you process that there will be no more run and jump hugs in this life?
This time, it was about 4 months until the old familiar symptoms started to rear their ugly head. This time, Virginia is stronger and braver and older and wiser and she knows the truth. Yet she is the one who has to work through each symptom and constantly tell herself what is truth and what is the reality. Virginia has received wise counsel yet again and has been reminded of the tools to use to overcome lies with truth.
This is how her young mind and heart and soul deals with great grief. Virginia has always been a happy girl, always smiling, always helpful, always nurturing, always loving and where there is great love, there is deep grief.