God Wants Me To Forgive Them!?!

Today Is my Birthday. I’ve been thinking a lot about this post on forgiveness  I decided to write about it on my Birthday. Why? Because forgiveness is a gift.img_0590

Forgiveness is something that you choose to give to someone else whether they deserve it or not.

Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. If it was a feeling, we would never be able to do it because the atrocities done to us by someone else can tear our hearts apart and cut us to the bone.

People hurt us, people hurt those we love, even people we love and say they love us, hurt us.

This world is full of hurt. It is filled with people hurting each other every single day.

When my Children were younger, they watched children’s stories with great lessons about kindness, helping, forgiving, loving, sharing and much more. The shows were called Veggie Tales and they watched them quite often, a few episodes a day. This was before Tablets and iPads!

If you’re not familiar with the Veggie Tales series, check it out on YouTube! Veggie Tales

After Billy was murdered by a stranger in a random, senseless act of violence, I had to do my part in planning my Son’s funeral.

I was gathering pictures of Billy and our family to put on the picture boards from the funeral home and I came across an old Veggie Tale DVD that was not in the same spot as the other Veggie tale DVD’s. It was among the pictures. It immediately caught my eye. The title was ” God Wants Me To Forgive Them!?!”img_0570

God wants me to forgive the man who spent time thinking about, meditating over and over, about hurting someone. Waiting for someone, anyone, to cross his path for any reason? That someone he chose to hurt, who nonchalantly walked by him on that Philadelphia street with his little brother and their friends, cheering on the Philadelphia Eagles, one week before the Super Bowl, was my 1st born Son, Billy.

God wants me to forgive him? The man who murdered my Child? The answer is Yes.

Yes, God wants me to forgive him.img_0573

How is that even possible?!?

Forgiveness is a choice, it is NOT a feeling.

Who FEELS like forgiving?

One thing I want to clarify is that Forgiveness and Justice are NOT the same thing.

I believe in justice. I believe that justice will be served. I believe that the man who killed my Son will spend the rest of his natural life in prison. That is just and that is right. If you commit the crime, you will pay the time.

Now, speaking of prison, I don’t want any unforgiveness to keep me bound up. To keep me in a prison of my own bitter thoughts and feelings toward the man who committed this violent act against my Boy.img_0572

Unforgiveness towards someone else is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That is foolish.

I’ve heard it said that you can be bitter or better but you can’t be both!

I have an ability to discern certain things about people and bitterness is one of them. I can look at someone’s face, look into their eyes and I can tell if they harbor any bitterness. It is NOT an attractive attribute. Bitterness is likely is caused by some kind of unforgiveness.

I never want someone to look at me and see bitterness.

We celebrated Robbie’s 16th Birthday which is Monday as well as his podium finish at the Granite Games. We just happened to surprise him on my Birthday! (Robbie, Virginia, Me and Jami)

I want to be kind and genuine and caring and transparent. That’s what my Son Billy saw in me and why he thought the best of me, even when I made mistakes and I made a lot of mistakes. He always forgave me just like I would always forgive him.

Forgiving people who have hurt me, sets me free!

Forgiving someone does not mean that what happened to me and my family was okay. It is NEVER okay to murder someone. Forgiving is never saying that what happened to you or what someone else did that hurt you is okay. Ever.img_0574

Forgiving is NOT forgetting. I will never forget my Son or what happened to him.

Forgiving is releasing that person that wronged me so that they do not have a hold on me. I will not rent them space in my mind or heart. No way!

I choose to give that man the gift of forgiveness. I choose to continually forgive as  negative thoughts come at me and try to overtake me.

I choose to forgive whether is he ever sorry or not. Whether he ever asks me to forgive him or not. Whether he wants my forgiveness or not. It is not up to him what I choose to do regarding forgiveness. I choose to forgive because it sets me free.img_0571If you read my post titled “Imagine Heaven” then you might remember I mentioned reading it with a deeper desire to know what’s coming. I also want to know what my Son  is experiencing because he is finally home! He is more alive than he has ever been and you know what? He wants me to be free. He wants his brother to forgive. He wants everyone who has been affected by his untimely, horrific death to forgive. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt.img_0588Forgiveness is daily. It’s in every relationship whether it’s between feuding family members, a marriage, an estranged relationship, a work relationship or even someone who wronged you on the roadways. Maybe you even have to forgive yourself. I encourage you to just do it. It may not be easy, but it’s simply the best choice and God will bless you for it.





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