Special and Sad

Published by cmadams

I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! 2 Grandsons ages 7and 8 and a precious 3 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 8 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗 View all posts by cmadams

Carrying on My Son’s Legacy, Crime, Family, Grief, Grieving, Growing up without a Father, Homicide, Honoring My Son, Kindergarten, Loss, Loss of a, Loss of a Son, Loss of a Son to Homicide, Loss of a Son to Murder, Love, Love of a Mother, Mourning, Murder, My Son, Random Act of Violence

I would add that now at almost 11 months since my sons tragic death, it is not easier as more time has passed.

It is not something you ever “get over.” I must learn what I can and apply it to the living. I must also not be so hard on myself when I have a sad, bad day.

My Son’s 5 year old Son Logan is doing absolutely wonderful in kindergarten. He loves school and he loves to learn.

He is a thinker and a problem solver and even though he’s only in kindergarten,it shows on his report card. I call him my smarty pants! Daddy would be so proud! So is Nana!

Repost from July 27th.Day 27 of bereaved parents awareness month.

Today marks six months since my son was murdered.

The 27th now is a date that always takes my breath away a little bit, especially at night.

The picture on the left was taken about 9 months before Billy started kindergarten.

The funny thing is that he was never really into sports.

He tried basketball and baseball and wrestling and cross country.

He did them but they were just never his thing.

I bet if the photographer would’ve offered him a guitar prop to hold when he was 5,he would have chosen it.

I got him a play guitar for his sixth birthday, just for fun.That was his 1st day of kindergarten too.

I guess even back then I knew more than I realized.

The picture on the right was taken about a month before he was killed. About this time last year. He saw his kindergarten teacher Christmas shopping at the mall.

Billy was so happy to see her that he asked her if he could take their picture together.

What a special moment. Oh how I wish we could go back in time…

Now his son Logan is getting ready to start kindergarten next month.

These are the moments that make me sad.

He won’t get to be there for Logan the first day of school.

I know he will see him because God’s Word says that we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses.

I know Billy is one of those witnesses, and that he’s watching.

#specialmoments

#mrshagen

#akronelementary

#helovedthcameraandthecameralovedhim

#eachofmychildrenareblessedwithdifferentgiftsandtalents

#billyhadmanyandhisfavoritewasmusic

#iloveyoubilly

#imissmyboy

#💗

Published by cmadams

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