6 years

Published by cmadams

I am now a Mother that no one wants to be. I love my children more than life itself and my world got turned upside down when my 1st born son Billy, also known as Liam, was murdered by a stranger in a random act of violence. I have 3 remaining living, breathing, amazing children, 2 sons and 1 daughter, 3 living,breathing,amazing step-sons and each and every one is special,creative,and unique! I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren! 2 Grandsons ages 7and 8 and a precious 3 year old Granddaughter! My Grandson Logan, is Billy’s only child, he is now 8 years old. As my daughter says, he is the warm piece of Billy that we get to touch. I enjoy cherishing and taking care of my husband and my family, leading a healthy lifestyle in spirit, soul and body, clean eating, CrossFit, sunshine,rest, listening to music and singing along! I will never be who I was before this happened. I am dedicated to learn what I can, embrace the pain, and share my raw, wounded, healing heart that is daily changing due to this great tragedy. My hope is touch lives in many ways,no matter how big or small, in honor and in memory of my son, Billy.He will live on through my words, the words of his Mother and the hearts of his family💗 View all posts by cmadams

Birthday, Crime, Death, Family, Grandson, Grief, Growing up, Growing up without Daddy., Heartache, Homicide, Life, Loss, Loss of a child, Loss of a Son, Loss of a Son to Homicide, Love, Mourning, Murder, Tears, Time

Where has time gone?

Time flies.

Time goes so fast.

They’re growing up so fast!

We all say it at one time or another.

I believe that one of the ways we can see how quickly time goes by is watching children grow and change in their appearance.

When we see a child that we haven’t seen for a period of time, even a couple weeks, we can visibly see growth and change.

It’s hard when we see our own children or grandchildren every day to be aware of those changes.

I can see changes in Logan when he comes home after being away for the weekend. His hair is longer, he even looks taller!

Some of the clothes I bought for him back in the fall are now too small.

Today is Logan’s Birthday. He turned 6 years old.

I remember the day he was born.

Billy’s caption says it all❤️

I couldn’t believe I was a grandmother!

I couldn’t believe that Billy was a Father! My Son had a Son of his very own.

I watched them both change and grow over the years and the one thing that never changed was how much Billy loved his Son. It actually grew deeper.

The look of love is so apparent on Daddy’s face.

Billy’s Birthday was 09-01

Logan’s Birthday is 01-09

Just another sweet connection between Father and Son.

I missed Billy even more today than I normally do if that is even possible.

I tried to do extra fun things with Logan today and make special memories.

We went to Chuck E. Cheese’s and he played lots of games and we took pictures and he cashed in his tickets and got a gum ball machine.

Loan having fun at Chuck E Cheeses

He wanted cupcakes with plastic dragonflies on top because when we see a dragonfly it reminds us of daddy.

Logan asked for plastic dragonflies on top of his cupcakes. Dragonflies remind us of Daddy.

So we ate cupcakes and opened some cool presents and played with those new toys for awhile and then it was time for bed.

A good Birthday, but his 1st birthday without Daddy.

He said he missed him but he didn’t cry about him.

That’s okay because I did.

* On an additional note, since I wrote this last evening, is that Logan woke up in the middle of the night crying.

He may not have cried about Daddy earlier on his birthday but, his little heart cried at night.

Happy Birthday Logan.

I’m sure Daddy sends his love from heaven and always remember that Nana loves you so much.

Published by cmadams

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